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Drowning Horses

from Wild Rice by Leon Frear

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lyrics

If wishes were horses only beggars would ride.
As I lie by your side I’m the beggar this time.
For wishing it different and wanting us well.
But a fool only wishes and that horse ain’t for sale.

So I’ll remember that night that we looked at your pictures.
Not that we fought and I couldn’t get hard.
The very next day I still made you breakfast.
You had the hunger so I pretended a home.

My eyes said goodbye as I looked at your body,
That I wanted to touch for one very last time.
Your eyes said goodbye as you stared in your coffee,
So I tried to think of something funny to say.

The words they escaped me so I had to settle,
for breaking the silence by forcing a laugh.
But you smiled anyway and did me a favor,
by holding my hand at that kitchen table.

I remember you well and I think of you often.
Maybe some less with each passing day.
But sometimes at night I think of that song that you played for me,
With that man singing so sweet and so mean.

And sometimes at night I think of your body.
I close my eyes and I try to pretend.
No desiderating - I’m all done with wishes.
I drowned all my horses in the Ohio river.

credits

from Wild Rice, released March 1, 2024
Recorded and Performed in a bedroom by Leon Frear.

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Leon Frear Chicago, Illinois

Sad Bastard Vocabulary Rock.

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